Manliest Cocktails
Too many men see cocktails as something that might have their man card revoked. This shouldn’t be the case, as men, we should be open to new experiences, something other than what your dad used to drink. There’s more to life than the same old, same old, so what do we mean?
For one, we’re not talking about the drinks you used to chug down with vigor during your college years, and no self-respecting manly man over the age of 21 would dare order a round of Jagerbombs for the table. Nor are we talking about the standard rum and cokes that are cheap, yeah, cheerful, absolutely, and always go down well, we’re instead talking about drinks you only know about and enjoy.
These are the drinks that present an air of confidence, of sophistication, of the idea you have your life together. If you’re bored with the same old booze and bevs, we’ve compiled this list of 20 of the manliest cocktails to give you something else to order the next time you’re feeling thirsty and want to add a bit of class to the proceedings.
But I Thought Cocktails Were Just For Women?
Like snot they are. While there are some cocktails that some might associate with being too girly to bring themselves to order at their local dive, once you get over the fancy names and tropical colors and flavors, there are plenty of cocktails that you would look damn good with sitting in a bar deep in discussion about whatever you like – because when you have one of these cocktails, it doesn’t matter.
So why don’t men order cocktails? It can’t just be due to some misplaced fear of women. It can’t just be down to the toxic masculinity that for so long has permeated locker rooms and bar booths late on a lonely Friday night. Perhaps it’s the sweet, sometimes sickly taste (and subsequent aftertaste), or perhaps it’s that while people consider it manly to drink the most you can – and even more, sometimes – but because there’s nothing manly about not being able to handle your drinks.
Now we’ve got that out of the way, here are, the top 20 manliest drinks you could ever buy, even if you might have to travel a little further than you’re used to.
1. Old Fashioned
Perhaps the king of whiskey cocktails, an Old Fashioned has become very much in fashion. If you were like anybody during the last 10 years, you probably remember them as a favorite drink of everyone’s favorite womanizing advertiser, Mr. Don Draper. Drinking this, you’ll immediately feel like a true champion of class and sophistication. They look good, but they taste even better. Just watch how many you drink in an evening as things can twist, and as we’ve established that isn’t manly at all. A perfect drink for whiskey lovers.
What’s In It?
1 sugar cube, 1 1/2 ounce of bourbon or rye whiskey, 2 dashes of Angostura bitters, a few splashes of water.
When to Drink One
In a suit, at lunch, right after closing a big, juicy account.
2. Godfather
A Godfather is a tricky drink for people who order it purely based on the name. The Amaretto makes it feel much lighter than you’d expect, but don’t be fooled. The Whiskey that complements this Amaretto can grab you by the neck and throw you from your chair without you realizing. That’s not to say you should avoid it, though, and once you get used to what it does to you, you’ll be laughing all the way into Monday (because there’s a chance Sunday could be a total write-off).
What’s In It?
1 1/6th ounce Amaretto, 1 1/6th ounce Scotch whiskey.
When to Drink One
In a dive bar, probably at the end of the night, as a final drink before you head home.
3. Dry Martini
Some people believe Martinis of any kind are for girls (allegedly, something to do with the olive, but does that make olives on pizza girly? Nope.) They’re wrong. What we love about the Dry Martini is how simple it is. Combining gin and Dry Vermouth – where the Dry Martini gets its name – you’re gifted an easy to drink cocktail that will serve you well better than you imagined.
What’s In It?
3 ounces Gin, 1/2 ounce Dry Vermouth.
When to Drink One
A hotel bar or a distant relative’s wedding – because save the good stuff for those closer to you.
4. Tom Collins
While some of the most famous cocktails are named after very real, very cool people, the Tom Collins gets its name from a phenomenon about people talking about a fictional (but possibly cool) dude named Tom Collins. Due to its mix of fruitiness and booziness, it’s a perfect post-golf drink and is much lighter on the stomach than your average domestic or craft beer. Plus, if anyone asks, you were out drinking with your buddy Tom, so you won’t sound like a lonesome drinking dork.
What’s In It?
1 ounce freshly squeezed lemon juice, 2 ounces carbonated water, 1/2 ounce sugar syrup, 1 1/2 ounce Old Tom Gin.
When to Drink One
After a round of golf, successful or not, or when beer just doesn’t sound appealing.
5. Manhattan
A truly classic cocktail that you may already be readily fond of, the Manhattan has lasted through decades of enjoyment by guys all across the country, even through Prohibition, which is more than could be said for some Speakeasy favorites. The red color makes it look like something potentially sinister, while it’s sweet taste means you can enjoy more than a couple, and will only appreciate the drink more with each delicious, badass sip.
What’s In It?
Dash of Angostura bitters, 2 ounces Rye or Canadian Whisky, Maraschino Cherry (as a garnish), 3/4 ounces sweet Vermouth.
When to Drink One
When you’re celebrating the fact you didn’t live in the times of prohibition, or when looking for something deliciously devilish.
6. Whiskey Smash
If you’ve always been ever-so-slightly jealous of your partner getting away with ordering a Mojito, then you’re in luck, a Whiskey Smash is exactly like a Mojito, but with Whiskey instead of white rum, which immediately makes it a manly drink. You can even serve it in a whiskey glass. The flavors combine marvelously to make you forget all of your previous envy over those silly Mojitos, and it’s always fun to say smash, just don’t get too into it after a few too many.
What’s In It?
1/2 tablespoon of sugar, 1 tablespoon of water, 2 ounces Bourbon Whiskey, 2 sprigs of mint.
When to Drink One
We hear Bobby Flay likes to sell them at his restaurant in Connecticut, so there we guess.
7. Zombie
‘In your head, they are fighting!’ While it’s not named after the peculiarly Southeast-Asian Open Mic Night favorite, you’re still likely to be singing the Cranberries’ classic long after you’ve enjoyed a night drinking a Zombie with your favorite people, whether that’s on Halloween – which it normally is – or if you’re of a gruesome and spooky demeanor. It’s strong, but delicious, although too many of them might get frightening.
What’s In It?
1 1/4 ounce lemon juice, 1 ounce dark rum, 3/4 ounce orange juice, 1/2 ounce cherry brandy, 1/2 ounce light rum, 1/2 ounce high-proof dark rum, 2 dashes grenadine.
When to Drink One
Backpacking across Thailand, Laos, Cambodia, and Vietnam, probably during the third rendition of the night, or Halloween.
8. Sidecar
Supposedly named after the sidecar that used to take soldiers home from the bar during World War I, the Sidecar mixes Cognac, lemon juice, and Triple Sec to create a cocktail that’s quick and easy to make and quick and easy to enjoy, particularly if you like your drink more bitter than most. If you don’t, then you can fill the shaker with ice to make it a little less intense on the tongue, but don’t worry, it doesn’t make it any less manly.
What’s In It?
2 ounces Cognac, 3/4 ounce lemon juice, 3/4 ounce Triple Sec.
When to Drink One
When you’re ready to have your entire drinking habit changed for the better.
9. Rusty Nail
Very similar to the Godfather, the Rusty Nail gets its named, allegedly, from the nail the Scots (who invented it) used to stir the drink. Yes, we mean a rusty one, although it could be because Scots are ginger, and a nickname for ginger is rusty. Whatever its origins, it’s a smooth and highly recommended, and the whole rusty nail thing just adds to the coolness points.
What’s In It?
1 1/2 ounce Scotch, 3/4 ounce Drambuie, 1 lemon twist.
When to Drink One
Everyone else around you is drinking Scotch, but you’re still not a fan, or when you just discovered your Scottish heritage.
10. Stinger
Made famous (or at least more prominent) by the legendary and uber-manly Cary Grant, Stingers were once considered a great end-of-night drink to help you drift off into tomorrow. They might not have that reputation any longer, but there’s no harm in being the guy to bring them back.
What’s In It?
1 3/4 ounce Cognac, 3/4 ounce white creme de menthe.
When to Drink One
As a cheeky but definitely not judgement nightcap, it’s been a long day.
11. Traditional Absinthe
Some may disagree that this is actually a cocktail by definition, but we consider any mix of different drinks to fit firmly into such a category. Not everybody can (or will) drink absinthe, regardless of what you mix it with, but if you can handle it, might just be able to grow that mustache you’ve always dreamt of.
What’s In It?
2 ounce absinthe, 6 ounces cold water, 1-2 sugar cubes, 1 slotted spoon.
When to Drink One
To prove your dominance (or lack of taste buds) at a bar full of 18-year-olds.
12. Dirty Martini
Kind of like a Dry Martini but using vodka over gin, the Dirty Martini – a signature of Bond, James Bond, won’t turn you into a globetrotting spy, but it might give you that cool, calm confidence you’ve always craved. It’s one of the few vodka cocktails that, we believe, falls firmly into the column of manly, just make sure you use decent vodka, and none of the $6 bottom shelf garbage.
What’s In It?
6 ounces vodka, 1 dash Dry Vermouth, 1 ounce olive juice, 3 green olives.
When to Drink One
In a tux when trying to get information from an enigmatic and alluring woman.
13. Buffalo Sweat
Sure, it sounds gross (not the grossest we’ve selected, though), but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try it at least once in your life. Mixing Bourbon and Tabasco sauce, it might sound like something you’d prank your buddies with at parties back in the day, and you’ll probably only drink it once, but once is enough to prove you’re a man.
What’s In It?
3 ounces bourbon, one ounce tabasco.
When to Drink One
When someone questions your manliness, maybe challenge them to do it, too.
14. Gibson
Kind of like a Martini – well, almost exactly like a Martini aside from one ingredient, the Gibson is considered by some people to be a manly version of a Martini, we won’t go that far, but we will say that if you still have reservations about Martinis, this onion-garnished substitute might go down well.
What’s In It?
2 ounces gin (or vodka), 1 part Dry Vermouth, an onion.
When to Drink One
If you’re scared of Martinis but feel left out you’re the only one not drinking one.
15. Thunder
Despite the potential health-issues associated with drinking raw egg yolk, we feel you can still get away with one of these, and besides, this raw egg only helps contribute to the Thunder’s reputation as a drink that will make axes appear in your hand, beards grow the length of your knees, and the ability to stand up for yourself in any situation come naturally.
What’s In It?
1/ 1/2 ounce Brandy, a pinch of Cayenne Pepper, one egg yolk, 1 teaspoon powdered sugar.
When to Drink One
In the morning, as a chaser for your simple everyday egg yolk chug (no, not really).
16. Black Sunday
At either 95 or 75.5%, Everclear perhaps the strongest kind of booze you’ll ever encounter in your life, and mixing that with 101 Proof Wild Turkey is surely a recipe for disaster, so maybe just order it once, just to say you have.
What’s In It?
1 ounce Everclear, 1 ounce Wild Turkey 101 Proof Bourbon, black cherry soda (for taste, which you can make with soda maker).
When to Drink One
When you need to get drunk fast.
17. Boilermaker
The Boilermaker is a no-nonsense drink that’s available anywhere. You don’t need any fancy Mixologist degrees to pull this one off. As long as there’s beer and whiskey or rum, you can get it down you and then move onto something else.
What’s In It?
Beer (something good, obviously), a shot of whiskey or rum.
When to Drink One
Literally whenever, but perhaps most acceptable at the beginning, middle, or end of the night. Hey, wait a minute….
18. Spicy Sandstorm
Gin cocktails don’t always have a good reputation – mainly because of their association with Tonic which isn’t necessarily what springs to mind when you say manly. Like anything else in the world, though, it’s the sum of the parts that make it what it is, and mixing it with Scotch, ground black pepper, and Tabasco might sound like overkill (and it might be), but only the biggest, baddest dudes can spend a night on these and live (or want) to tell the tale.
What’s In It?
1 ounce Scotch, 1 ounce gin, black pepper (ground), just a splash of Tabasco sauce.
When to Drink One
If when you realize there’s a drink more hardcore than Buffalo Sweat.
19. Enpinyo and Cow Blood
No, we’re not joking, this concoction is a favorite of nomadic tribes in Kenya and Tanzania, but it apparently has hangover-curing qualities too. This is thanks to the cow’s blood, which you chase after doing a shot of their traditional distilled liquor. You may never encounter it in your life, but if you ever find yourself hungover in Africa, you’ll at least now know what to do.
What’s In It?
Distilled African liquor, cow blood (fresh, of course).
When to Drink One
When you’re hungover, apparently.
20. Whatever the Hell You Want
That’s right our dudes, there’ are few things that are manlier than drinking whatever catches your eye. We’ve entered a new world where you shouldn’t need to feel shame about anything you do, well, at least as long as it’s all cool and legitimate. If you’ve ever craved the sweet, tropical tastes of the many women-aimed cocktails just go for it. Who the hell cares? It’s your life and you can do whatever you want. If you want a Cosmo, go for a Cosmo, if you want a Long Island Iced Tea, you better enjoy it and have a nice time doing so, buddy
What’s In It?
Seriously, whatever you want.
When to Drink One
Whenever you damn well please (unless driving or at work or anything that could get you in trouble), but really, when you’re happy to embrace being yourself, which is something we should all raise a glass to.
Drink Up, Punk
We get that you might have set yourself a target of sampling every craft beer the world has to offer, but that’s not possible. What is possible, though, is sampling the finest, manliest cocktails we’ve been graced with, so drink up and enjoy, and, as always, please drink responsibly.
Sources
- 11 Manliest Alcoholic Drinks Ever – 11 Points
